We who preach and write, do so in a manner different from which the Scriptures have been written. We write while we make progress. We learn something new every day. We speak as we still knock for understanding...If anyone criticizes me when I have said what is right, he does me an injustice. But I would be more angry with the one who praises me and takes what I have written for Gospel truth than I would be with the one who criticizes me unfairly. -Augustine


Divorce part 2

As we continue our theme on Divorce: For the Children’s sake let me say first, that if you have experienced the pain of a divorce, please know that this is not intended to add further misery. The purpose is to provide an opportunity to learn and to change. We are what we learn, and for me, I learn either from making mistakes or from others who have already learned from their mistakes, particularly those truths found in books. And when I find a good book, I am compelled to share it with you as I’ve been doing with A Case for Marriage by Waite and Gallagher. In one of the largest studies of its kind, it was found that even the unhappiest couples who grimly stick it out for the children’s sake can find happiness together a few years down the road. The study showed that a shocking 86% of unhappily married couples who stick it out, five years later, their marriages were happier. In fact most say they have become very happy. Nearly three-fifths of those who said their marriage was unhappy and who stayed married, rated this same marriage as either “very happy” or “quite happy” when interviewed a decade later. And the very worst marriages show the most dramatic turnaround: 77% of the unhappy couples said that they marriage five years later was either very happy or quite happy. Permanent marital unhappiness is suprisingly rare among those who stick it out. Please don’t get the wrong impression. Marital happiness doesn’t just come because time heals all wounds. My wife and I struggled in our marriage for over twenty years and the struggle isn’t completely over yet…but she’s learning! OK…we’re learning, though she would say that I am learning…and I am. And that’s the key. Marriage takes time and effort to learn about yourself and your spouse. It takes humility and a lot of it and forgiveness and a lot of that as well…and an unconditional commitment to let God change you so that you can be his instrument of grace to your spouse. Personally I think forgiveness is the key to a happy marriage, and it takes just one to initiate it…For he who has been forgiven the most, loves the most. And love…well, love never fails.

Published in: on January 25, 2010 at 6:54 pm  Leave a Comment