We who preach and write, do so in a manner different from which the Scriptures have been written. We write while we make progress. We learn something new every day. We speak as we still knock for understanding...If anyone criticizes me when I have said what is right, he does me an injustice. But I would be more angry with the one who praises me and takes what I have written for Gospel truth than I would be with the one who criticizes me unfairly. -Augustine

The Amnon Principle

Boys need to be preparing for marriage as early as kindergarten! At an early age our boys must see themselves as the protectors of a damsel in distress. They should be encouraged to be the first to run and pick up a girl’s dropped books. They should make a special effort to open the door for ladies. Our boys need to go against the culture and see that girls are a special. A boy should be in prayer for the one who will someday be his wife, companion, and in many ways, his earthly completion.

Our boys must also learn that the first year of marriage needs to be different than all of the rest. God commanded that a young man who had taken a wife be not charged with any business, or go to war, but be free at home for one year, to bring happiness to his wife (Deut. 24). I believe that this passage is teaching that a young man should not take on anything extra during his first year of marriage. He should be financially secure. Since financial stress is one of the most damaging conflicts in a young marriage, our boys need to understand the importance of hard work and savings before they even consider marriage. Proverbs 24:27 teaches that we are to prepare our fields first and then build our house.

Lastly, it is crucial that our boys learn the Amnon principle. In I Samuel 13, Absalom’s sister Tamar was loved deeply by her step brother Amnon. His love for her was so great that he thought he could not live another day without her. Unfortunately, his lust was greater than his love and he lost both her and his life; and Tamar lost her purity and honor. Our boys need to understand that when they engage in a physical relationship prior to marriage, they actually damage–and may even destroy–any future relationship with the one they love.

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